I, like many, have been trying to understand.
We returned home from a much needed and great post-surgery healing getaway in toasty Arizona recently, so while we had seen bits and pieces of the horrible events going on in our previous hometown for over 11 years of Charlottesville, VA (and where we also still own our beloved little lake house), I had to try and avoid the goings on in depth this past weekend. Not because I was trying to put my head in the sand, but for self-preservation, especially during this precarious time recovering from the emotional and physical aspects of my surgery. I know myself and I knew that I could (and would) easily get sucked down into the 24 hour news cycle rabbit hole, but I needed re-entry into the real world to be just a little bit soother, for a little bit longer. By Monday morning though, I couldn’t wait any l longer. I had to learn how our beautiful town was faring and more importantly, how it’s inhabitants were– especially the many friends that still remain, were doing.
As expected, I spent too many hours wiping away tears while looking at one horrific news photo after the other, as well as the truly awful videos of the violence playing out on streets so familiar to me, they can still feel like home. (Bill always gives me a little side nudge when I say “home” and mean Virginia and not our current home of Colorado. But aside from a very brief time in the 90’s when I lived in Arizona (ironic) before returning home because of the new severity of my Dad’s illness, Virginia has been my home. Born and raised. Bill has lived in more places than I, and probably, he can count, so he lovingly says home is wherever I am. <3 <3 <3)
I soon realized that I needed to get offline, get outside in the fresh air and be around people. I hoped on my bike, rode as fast as I could around the lake for as long as I could and met everyone’s gaze I encountered with a smile, which hopefully made them feel a little better like it did for myself. I tried to keep my mind off the news, which seems to get sadder and more difficult to understand as the days go on.
Though when I returned home and put my bike back in the garage, I found myself getting sucked into another rabbit hole, but this one was of our own making–a dirty and disorganized garage! I don’t know what compelled me to start tackling it for the rest of the afternoon, foregoing lunch (not smart, I know as I found myself lightheaded no matter how slowly I stood up, but I was on a mission) and filling up the ShopVac with old spider webs, dead crickets and a large amount of dirt on the concrete floor that seems to multiply by the day. I’m sure a large part of me just wanted to get out of my head at that point and focus on something. Anything else, because trying to make sense of the senseless is, of course, nearly impossible.
After I finally got things to a point where I was happy with them (for now 😉 and I was finally grabbing a bite to eat, I realized why I had unexpectedly started on that project on Monday. I had emerged from the hot garage sweaty, exhausted and with bruised knees (don’t worry, honey, I was very mindful of not moving or lifting anything over 10 lbs since I haven’t yet gotten the okay for that yet), but with a nice sense of accomplishment. That I had control over something in the world (our little world) that made it a better, more welcoming place. That I had made the dirty, cleaner and the chaos, more orderly. To be sure, a very small thing in the grand scheme of things, but it definitely helped.
I apparently wasn’t done though. After another tiring ride after only getting about 5 hours of sleep, I decided yesterday then to tackle our (too long) side yard where the weeds had begun their assault into the sidewalk. This time though, I thankfully took a break to have an energy bar until I finished and could make lunch.
And then yesterday afternoon, Trump once again did a reverse course, saying now both sides were to blame for the violence that erupted. Um, which side came armed in military riot gear, wielding torches, chanting “Jews will not replace us”, while making the Nazi salute, throwing smoke bombs into the crowd and swinging clubs, Mr. President? Did the poor white supremacists, who organized the rally in the first place, who have been the leading cause of so much hate and violence for many, many years now, fear the counter protesters would not be peaceful? Really, Trump, is that what you’re saying? Really? “Where does it stop,” indeed, Trump? Christ.
It’s so hard for me to believe, like many others, especially those familiar with the Charlottesville area, that such a beautiful and loving town has become yet another place that hate and anger have left a lasting mark. Our hearts break for the lives lost, the people injured, our friends being afraid to leave their homes. In Charlottesville?! But as we’ve seen way too often, hate knows no boundaries and such senseless violence can happen anywhere. If we had still lived in Charlottesville, we very well would have likely been there to show white supremacism has no place in our wonderful and diverse America.
We’re so disgusted and saddened by the current political climate that has brought hate, dishonesty and unrest to our dear country which our leader in chief appears to perpetuate and incite as often as he seemingly can. We will absolutely continue to stand up for what’s right. This cannot ever become our new normal.
We are all human beings, first and foremost, and it doesn’t matter what color our skin is–we all bleed the same color. I can’t help but feel that if every single person had more love than hate in their hearts, empathy and compassion for all beings and cared more about others well being than their own more often than not, what a peaceful world we could live in. Where disagreements are handled with dignity and compassion and the understanding that we will always have different opinions on how things should be and we are entitled to those opinions (as long as they don’t cause harm to others), but they are only that, opinions. Understanding that you shouldn’t be violent towards your fellow man and that spewing hate only incites more hate should be givens, but apparently not. Thankfully, as people from all over the world have shown, hate can actually bring people together even more, but can we stop paying that price? It’s too high and life is too short.
I’m sure I’m peaching to the choir and I wish I had more profound words of wisdom during these terribly trying times, but it really should be simple. Love they neighbor–no matter the color of their skin, their faith or religion, or their sexual identity. Ask what you can do to help and I have to believe the Universe will feel the vibration of kindness, compassion and love that the majority of us have and give it back to us all, tenfold. Certainly my hope anyway. We can make the world a better, safer, place for everyone, even, and especially, if it starts in our own backyard.
PS – While cleaning up the yard yesterday, I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, “10% Happier with Dan Harris”. On May 31st, he had a great interview with one of the leading experts and teacher of “love and kindness” meditation, Sharon Salzberg.
“I think people do things motivated by love, certainly more strongly sometimes, and more successfully, than when motivated by hate… I think love is actually the force that keeps us going,” she said.
One of my favorite stories she related was being told my someone close to Martin Luther King Jr. many years ago, that MLK always said “you have to love everybody,” to which she replied that she didn’t, only the people who deserved it. He laughed and said, “nope, everybody.” Everybody.
True change is coming. It won’t be easy, but it’s highly overdue.
